Me and codependency

Most recently i’ve been battling codependent behavior between me and alcohol. I’ve known for years that it was something that had taken the best of me. Last year i got a huge wake up call after binge drinking again and realized that it was going to get worse if i continued the addiction. My relationship with alcohol was a common theme between my ex boyfriend and i, which was an unhealthy relationship that also had roots in codependency . what are the odds? I knew i was in a codependent relationship with him yet stayed in it because when i looked around me at friends and family it seemed normal. My close family and friends used and abused alcohol and some drugs so i didn’t think it could get any better, and made so many excuses to justify why it would seem acceptable. He blatantly proved over and over again this was a codependent relationship. Deep down I felt bad for him. i wanted him to change. i wanted it to get better and was in denial our true needs. i wanted to save him. and it only got worse. So i finally left. But the addiction stayed. I can point out others codependency yet have tried very hard to deny my own. This is what i’ve been working on and its taken months. Although my addiction is gone, the codependency when it comes to family, friends, coworkers is still lingering and is finally coming more to light and this is what I’m working through. as the alcoholism subsided the codependency became more of the focus, like a tipping scale. My values are taking the steering wheel when I notice these codependent relations with others. example: not giving in or feeling guilty for not participating in pitying others situations that they know exists but refuse to change; not being pressured to get drinks for/ or with anyone, not engaging in trying to save others because of their excuses and stories they have used to gain sympathy and manipulation, and when they themselves deny my codependency i take ownership (not feeling ashamed). At times i would only hang friends who shared my addiction so i categorized my friends for who had what i needed and supported my addiction and who didn’t. I didn’t want to change. Now that it is fading away, i can see some of my friends and coworkers doing the same to me

 

#RUatruetwinflame?

#meandcodependency

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